Is it really 2022 or are we still living in another aged era?
I just absolutely love when you're trying to be cordial, making small talk with a man (or anyone for that matter) who automatically jumps to notify you of his relationship status and gives the unsolicited and obligatory, ‘My girlfriend or my wife’ speech, which usually gets dropped into the conversation in an absurd fashion which makes absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever.
How's your day today? Good, I have a girlfriend who likes days.
🤔… Good thing I didn’t care about that, but thanks for sharing? Like dude, this is what we here on Earth call small talk, no one's flirting with you so please calm the fuck down Chief and don’t get your sweaty balls in a bunch. It’s perfectly okay to chat with members of the opposite sex and even enjoy said conversations without doing anything wrong. But then again, where does the line get drawn?? When does pleasantries and simple conversation turn into something unacceptable?
I notice both sexes tend to do this but usually it seems for very different reasons. A woman might be forthright to drop that info quickly, whether true or not, when she’s not interested and trying to shut down any hope of things leading anywhere, usually for fear of the reaction she may get if simply stating the obvious truth of just not being interested. Whereas a man whose taken may or may not be open to some possibilities depending on his agenda it seems or is maybe curious if he’s still “got it”.
So, I’m curious, what do you think it is…. Obviously only the beholder can know for sure of their motives, but it could be a myriad of things. Is it guilt? Is it a tactic one uses to absolve themselves of the fear of any potential wrongdoing, lack of interest of course is also a possibility but that’s not always the case. Is one gauging interest in hopes of something developing past the initial convo or employed to potentially deceive. What could be the reason we do not allow ourselves the joy of simple conversations with others without their being stipulations and judgments passed? You be the judge and jury.
Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes it royally sucks to be knee deep in an amazing conversation, having organic chemistry with someone of the opposite sex with whom you may actually have some real interest, only to be let down once they finally decide to regale you with their taken status and you wish they just would have decided to blurt that shit out from the get and not save the utter disappointment for later. So, what was the potential agenda then? Sometimes we may never know and sometimes life can just simply be unfair.
Ultimately, even though there always seems to be more questions than answers, I can always appreciate the simplicity as one of my beloved SATC character’s Samantha Jones once put it on a season 5 episode; I hate it when men do that. "I have a girlfriend." Calm down, I just asked if that seat was taken!
© 08/24/22 Renee Lopez
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